There's a quote by Robert Bly that I find incredibly hopeful, noted by Tyson and Bethke: > Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be. Wherever the wound appears in our psyches, whether from alcoholic father, shaming mother, shaming father, abusing mother, whether it stems from isolation, disability, or disease, that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community. Some wounds are *not* going to be a "source of strength" for us. As Jonathan Haidt notes in *The Happiness Hypothesis*, some trauma is indeed *traumatic*—what doesn't kill us does not always make us stronger; sometimes it weakens and cripples us for life. But perhaps in God's redemption. ## Reference Bethke, Jefferson; Tyson, Jon. Fighting Shadows: Overcoming 7 Lies That Keep Men From Becoming Fully Alive (p. xxiii). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. > You are going to fight the shadows of shame and despair that seek to rob you of confidence and hope. You are going to fight the shadows of loneliness and lust that keep you isolated and afraid. And you are going to fight the shadows of futility, apathy, and ambition that seek to rob you of faith and reduce your passion to passivity and compliance. You are also going to see God do a real work of redemption. Some of the things you have been ashamed of will become places of strength. Some of your greatest failures will become the most potent lessons. Some of your deepest wounds will become your deepest source of wonder. > > Robert Bly wrote, “Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be. Wherever the wound appears in our psyches, whether from alcoholic father, shaming mother, shaming father, abusing mother, whether it stems from isolation, disability, or disease, that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community.” > > The community of men needs your gifts. They need your story of redemption. They need your authenticity, your energy, *you*. Robert Bly, Iron John (Boston: Da Capo Press, 2015), 43. Cited in Bethke, Jefferson; Tyson, Jon. Fighting Shadows: Overcoming 7 Lies That Keep Men From Becoming Fully Alive (p. xxiii). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. > Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be. Wherever the wound appears in our psyches, whether from alcoholic father, shaming mother, shaming father, abusing mother, whether it stems from isolation, disability, or disease, that is precisely the place for which we will give our major gift to the community.